Pride Soaring




The Kings of the four seasons by Marcella Muhammad


          Still I am a Nigger

I was surfing the channels for something to watch when I came across a movie I thought would be interesting to watch as it was suppose to be about a ghost story regarding a boy from a small town. 

            I was about ten minuets into the movie when a little white boy, trying to goat another into reentering their school to retrieve a misplaced hat,  tells another little white boy that the school janitor might give his hat to one of his nigger kids if they don’t retrieve the had now.

            The movie was “Lady in White” made in 1988 and has a PG-13 rating.  I immediately turned form the movie as I found it hurtful and painful to hear a little boy say Nigger is such a way.  PG-13 which means this was good family viewing with that vulgar attitude towards me openly and viciously used.  Not to mention Hollywood in it once again contradicting manner using a child to act and say such words in his script.  Contradicting like having a horror movie rated R which means children under 16 must be accompanied by an adult and yet the movie is about children under 16 being terrorized by an adult.

            I don’t know how “Lady in White” turned out because I am so tired of hearing that word.  The movie might have been a wonderful journey into the life of this little boy as he grew up but I didn’t care.

            I switched to another channel and saw “Reservoir Dogs,” a movie by Quentin Tarantino in 1992, was on.  Now I have a love hate feeling about Quentin Tarantino because as a writer I really enjoy great dialogue in a novel or movie.  He offers some of the best dialogue in the film industry today.  However his use of the word nigger is almost like he is in love with the word.  “Reservoir Dogs” has absolutely zero Black actors in it and still the word Nigger is used like Quentin is saying it himself.  Even to look at him I can see him using that word with enjoyment. 

            September 22, 1862.  Following the Confederate defeat at Antietam, Lincoln issues the Emancipation Proclamation, to go into effect on January 1, 1863. In the document, Lincoln frees all slaves in Confederate or contested areas of the South. That was 143 years ago and still I am a Nigger.  The Civil Rights Act of 1964, Pub. L. No. 88-352, 78 Stat. 241 (July 2, 1964), in the United States was landmark legislation which outlawed discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin. Originally conceived to protect the rights of black men, the bill was amended prior to passage to protect the civil rights of all men and women.  That was forty two years ago and still I am a Nigger.  April 4th, 1968 Martin Luther King Jr. is killed for trying and succeeding at bringing awareness to the struggle of the Black man and to have us treated as human beings. Still I am a nigger.  It started as Niggra because the illiterate southern white crackers couldn’t pronounce the word properly.  This illiterate diction is what we term today as Ebonics.  How much time must past and how many must die before I no longer have to deal with that word.

            As you may notice with my writings I almost never use the word African American.  I feel sickened by that label because of the insincerity of the use of the title.  I hear folks get indignant over being called African American rather than Black.  I happen to have a great fondness for the continent of Africa and it’s people.  My objection to the term African American is that we here in the United States carry a superior attitude towards our Brothers and Sisters in Africa.  We don’t know nor do we care for the struggle many still go through there.

            In South Africa Apartite may be over yet they are today where we were in the 1950’s.  HIV/AIDS is killing them in alarming disproportionate numbers.  Many Black children are finding themselves parentless because of the disease.  What do we do to help the struggle with our billions of dollars?  In Ethiopia, and many other countries starvation and curable disease is going neglected because not enough monies are coming in.  What do we do to help this struggle with our billions of dollars?  To travel form one country to another requires papers and searches and rules that would drive most of us crazy.  It’s like needing a passport to drive from Chicago to Indiana.  What do we do to help the struggle with our billions of dollars?

            We want to call ourselves African Americans and we give nothing, do nothing and we ostracize the continent as our government does.  My desire and hopes are to be in Africa before the year is over.  I will first hand get to know and understand my home land, the people and what I can do to help.  Then I can proudly be an African American staying in Africa.

            Just what is an African American?  If you truly understand the history of the world then you understand the all human life began in Africa.  I don’t beat the drum of the Bible nor do I beat the drum of science.  Still regardless which you believe the truth resolves to the same findings.  The Garden of Eden was somewhere in or near Africa.  Pharaoh and Moses conflicted in Egypt which is in Africa.  Science places the great migration of mankind from Africa to Asia across the ice bridge into the Americas.  With this in mind every white American can justly call themselves African Americans because they too descend from Africa.

            What an outcry would come from the Black community if a white person were to call themselves African American.  Today I have a colleague that was born in Africa under Apartite rule and today is dedicating her life in supplying aid to children of deceased HIV/AIDS parents.  She is white and calls herself African American because she moved here as a college student and became a U.S. citizen but went back home to help which is more than we so called African Americans do.

            From Niggra to Nigger to Negro, Colored, Black and African American and now we have Nigga which we call ourselves.  Still I am a Nigger.  When it comes to filling out a document what should I put down as race?  I often want to put down other because of the confusion we have with what we want to be called.  Because after all the titles have been accessed we today chose to call each other nigga so still I am a Nigger!



Try to goggle search what we are you will find:


About 2,430,000 results for nigger

About 21,500,000 results for negro

About 52,000,000 results for colored

About 89,300,000 results for African American

About 4,840,000 results for nigga


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